The Gallery

Michael mid-triple-axel pancake flip at the 2023 County Fair. The pancake landed perfectly. The ceiling fan did not.

Exclusive shot of Michael knitting during a tandem skydive. The scarf he made that day is now a museum piece. The museum is his mom's fridge.

The inaugural eruption of the original backyard volcano. The 'lava' (baking soda + vinegar + red food coloring) reached a height of 14 feet. So did the neighbor.

The crowning achievement of couch fort engineering. 47 cushions, 9 blankets, 6 binder clips. Occupied for 14 hours. Dismantled only because the pizza delivery arrived.

Michael performing his signature weather dance. This particular session did not produce rain. It did, however, prompt a wellness check from a concerned neighbor.

A 17-pancake stack commemorating Michael's 17th ER visit. Every pancake is a different flavor. The structural engineering is questionable. The ambition is not.

The blanket that can only be knitted upside-down. Michael spent 45 minutes in this position. He says it's for 'artistic integrity.' The chiropractor says it's for business.

The second-generation volcano features LED lava glow and a smoke machine. The HOA has issued a fifth letter. Michael added it to the collection wall.

Michael demonstrating the 'Power Nap + Power Pose' technique. Nap duration: 6 minutes 42 seconds. Pose duration: concerningly long.